Musicians are athletes. They have talents that can’t be coached but must be practiced to reach their potential. They are expected to perform at the highest level both in practice (in the studio) and in games (on stage in front of thousands of paying customers) despite grueling travel and publicity schedules. And they both exert energy performing with no guarantee of success.
Musicians’ success ultimately depends on their ability to play, which, like athletes, is dependent upon their health. And while musicians’ careers might not be as short as athletes’ careers on average, they’re equally dependent upon talents that inevitably diminish with age. But what are the sports musicians play on stage when it comes to comparable caloric exertion? That all depends on the genre of music they're playing and how they're playing it.
My research started with 28 musical performances in 27 days, beginning with Earth, Wind & Fire at the Minnesota State Fair on Aug. 26. From there I flew to Las Vegas for Mariah Carey at Caesars Palace on Sept. 5. A week after returning to Minnesota, I was headed to Chicago for Riot Fest, featuring a three-day lineup spanning almost every musical genre over the last 70 years.
The late 1950s rockabilly and ’60s rock & roll of pianist Jerry Lee Lewis gave way to metal/punk pianist and professional partier Andrew W.K. Fittingly, Elvis Costello and the Imposters played songs from the new wave he helped build and Blondie brought ashore to the states throughout the 1970s, riding the wave to the top of the charts in both the U.S. and U.K. in 1980 with a cover of The Paragons’ “The Tide is High.”
Blondie also served as a reminder that the political, electronic punk group Pussy Riot has Debbie Harry to thank for not only popularizing female punk voices but feminism as a whole. And while Bad Religion wasn’t the first band to get political with their lyrics in the 1980s, their popularity certainly made it a staple of the punk genre, paving the way for acts like Pussy Riot to draw attention to political corruption with their music. Pussy Riot did just that at Riot Fest, calling for justice after a longtime member and activist with the group was poisoned, perhaps for uncovering information regarding the deaths of three Russian journalists with whom he’d been working.
The ’90s were well represented by Lagwagon and Face to Face, and although Blink-182 had to cancel for health reasons, the lineup somehow got better with the additions of Weezer, Run the Jewels, and Taking Back Sunday. Blink’s absence didn’t mean pop punk of the ’90s would go unheard at Riot Fest Chicago 2018. Alkaline Trio announced their presence with a fantastic set just before Incubus reenacted the heydays of alternative rock that started in the late ’90s and continued into the new millennium.
If you thought Riot Fest was a punk rock festival, you’d be surprised to know that hip-hop acts have played the festival in consecutive years. The best performance of 2017 was provided by Prophets of Rage, a rap rock supergroup consisting of members from Rage Against the Machine/Audioslave, Public Enemy, and Cypress Hill. The performance unified very different genres and, as a result, very different people, but was especially emotional coming just months after Audioslave’s lead singer, Chris Cornell, committed suicide. Cypress Hill’s B-Real must have enjoyed the emotional and genre-defying performance he gave with Prophets in 2017, because he was back playing “Hits from the Bong” with Cypress Hill in 2018. Run the Jewels concluded the festival’s final day just as Prophets of Rage did the year before.
Cypress Hill might be playing the only sport for which cannabis is a performance-enhancing drug, but that doesn’t mean what they’re doing on stage (and off) isn’t athletic. Exactly how athletic is difficult to determine without primary research. Ideally, I would have slapped a Fitbit on the wrist of each musician before going on stage. Instead, we’ll have to rely on estimates of caloric exertion provided by sources I felt to be most reputable and accurate based on my own calorie counting. So what sports are some of music’s best athletes playing on stage?
Mariah Carey’s body might be enhanced in a Bondsian fashion, but her voice is Ruthian; it might be replaced with a recording on occasion, but never enhanced, only amplified. Mariah is the Babe Ruth of popular music for a lot of reasons, but mostly because she has done and continues to do something no one else in her sport has.
The greatest athletes of all time separate themselves from their peers by being the only athlete in their sport to do something. Mariah has sung a G7 (a G-note in the seventh octave), which no other singer of popular music has done. She regularly reaches F#7 in concert (F-sharp, seventh octave), lifting people to their feet and putting smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes. I can personally attest to this, but I can only imagine men cried when Ruth allegedly pointed to the center field bleachers and then hit a homer there in what was a tied Game 3 of the 1932 World Series.
Barry Bonds hitting more home runs than Ruth, regardless of cleanliness, is as irrelevant to the greatest-baseball-player-of-all-time argument as Ruth’s all-time best 182.5 Wins Above Replacement (WAR) over his career because only Ruth has been both the best hitter and pitcher in his league over the course of a single season (so far).
Had there been an American League Cy Young Award in 1916, Ruth would have won it, but not by the margin he would have won the Most Valuable Player Award had there been one in 1920 (he hit 35 more home runs than runner-up George Sisler) and eventually did win in 1923 despite sharing the home run crown with Cy Williams (he reached base in more than half of his plate appearances and got all eight first-place votes).
While a 28-year-old Walter Johnson led the AL in wins (25), complete games (36) and innings pitched (369.2) in 1916, Ruth was the league’s best pitcher by any measure—new (Ruth had a league-best ERA+ of 158) or old (Ruth led the league with nine shutouts to Johnson’s three and allowed the fewest hits per nine innings pitched in the AL). And while Johnson's Senators finished last, Ruth led Boston to the American League Pennant (and, eventually, a World Series Championship) with 23 wins in a league-leading 40 starts and four other appearances accounting for more than 23 percent of his team’s innings pitched during the regular season (323.2, third-most in the AL). Two years later Ruth led Major League Baseball with 11 home runs along with Tillie Walker, but did so with almost 100 fewer at-bats. It was the last time Ruth would have more wins (13) than homers in a single season.
Using strictly vocal range as a means to determine popular music’s best singer would be like using batting average to determine baseball’s best hitter—it doesn’t tell the whole story. Ruth only led the league in batting average once, and his .342 career average is just tenth-best all time. Axl Rose might have the largest vocal range in the sport of popular singing, but the lowest note he sang (F1) is just one note lower than Barry White's lowest (F#1, or F-sharp, first octave). Mariah’s highest note is seven notes higher than that of her closest competitor.
Longevity matters in GOAT debates too, and Rose didn’t retain his vocal range for nearly as long as Mariah has. The one thing only Rose has done in the sport is so closely contested its baseball equivalent would be Roger Maris breaking Ruth’s single-season, home run record in the last game of the 1961 season, which was 10 games longer than Ruth’s in 1927, but resulted in Maris getting just seven more plate appearances than Ruth had to hit 60. Mariah is the GOAT because, at some point in her long career (like right now), she’s been both the sport’s best hitter of notes (vocal range) and best “pitcher” (highest or lowest pitch sung), and has done so convincingly and simultaneously.
Mariah’s relative dominance of her sport isn’t the only similarity she shares with Ruth. While Mariah isn’t “The Mariah” like Ruth was “The Babe,” her fans refer to her using only her first name with the assumption that absolutely everyone knows which Mariah is the Mariah. And like the Sultan of Swat, who went by his “stage” name of Babe over his given name, George, Mariah has earned a lot of nicknames, including “The Voice” and “Songbird.” So the relative fandom of musicians is also comparable to that of athletes.
Mariah is beloved by her fans like The Babe was by kids. They defend her unconditionally because she is other-worldly in their eyes and ears. Any comparison to Whitney Houston is met with ruthless rebuffing comparable only to that of Michael Jordan fans fending off LeBron James comparisons as if they’re attacks on their religion or right to free speech. Ruth’s dominance of his sport allowed him to enjoy a long leash when it came to his off-field behavior, and the same goes for divas. There won’t be another Mariah, and there won’t be another Ruth—only imitators and imposters.
But Mariah isn’t popular enough to be the Michael Jordan of popular music, and she’s not burning comparable calories on stage as a basketball player does on the court. Few musicians are. Mariah Carey is playing baseball on stage, and she’s probably working harder than Ruth did playing the outfield, but not as hard as he did as a pitcher and hitter early in his career. Early in her career, though, her on-stage caloric exertion might have been closer to the caloric exertion of Ruth the pitcher/hitter.
If Livestrong’s estimates are accurate, Mariah singing while standing for an hour burns around 140 calories assuming a weight of 150 pounds. Healthy Celeb has her at around 148, which is reasonable given her five-foot, eight-inch height. Since she’s walking around the stage and doing so in heels, she’s probably burning another 200 calories per hour even if she’s lip-syncing. So that’s 340 calories burned per hour singing and moving around the stage (and crowd, which she did in Vegas), but we’re not considering her four plate appearances per game.
Mariah’s plate appearances are her wardrobe changes, each of which she knocked out of the park simply by being a knockout (thank you, gastric sleeve surgery). Mariah had four wardrobe changes during her Las Vegas show, all completed in three minutes or so, and while I’m sure she has plenty of help backstage, she’s still burning calories just as Ruth would even without swinging the bat. She might not burn a home-run-trot’s worth of calories changing clothes, but even The Great Bambino had a “courtesy runner” round the bases for him on home runs late in his career.
If we use an average of 3.5 minutes per wardrobe change given Mariah’s height, weight, and age, she likely burned another 20 calories or more changing clothes. And I think that’s a low estimate given her elevated heart rate going into the wardrobe change and the pressure of quickly completing the change. Keep in mind this estimate represents the caloric exertion associated with dressing and undressing with no stakes or complicated outfits. Still, that’s a total of 360 calories burned per hour on stage.
A non-pitching, non-catching fielder burns roughly 1,000 calories during a nine-inning baseball game. Another source estimates caloric exertion of non-pitchers and non-catchers at 305 calories per hour. An average game is over three hours long, so Mariah’s caloric exertion per hour on stage is comparable to that of a baseball player who isn’t pitching or catching. And her talent, longevity, and dominance of her sport is comparable to that of baseball’s best player.
Sinbad said prior to the Earth, Wind & Fire concert that I was in for a religious experience. He was absolutely right, but I didn’t think there would be so much movement on stage given the average age of the band members. I figured Philip Bailey’s voice would have regressed at the age of 67; I was wrong. I couldn’t imagine bassist Verdine White moving as much as he did at 67, and longtime percussionist/vocalist Ralph Johnson, also 67, didn’t miss a beat or note. It was one of the best performances I’ve ever seen, and I can only imagine had I ever seen the Bulls of the ’90s, I would have cried tears of joy at United Center just like I did at the Minnesota State Fair.
Earth, Wind & Fire has as many Grammys as the 1990s Bulls have championship rings (6), and like the greatest NBA dynasties, still has a big three in Bailey, White, and Johnson. Even Michael Jordan had Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman/Horace Grant. Earth, Wind & Fire not only has a big three, but nearly as many touring members as an NBA team (9). And they likely burned comparable calories as the Bulls roster on any given night.
Johnson alone likely burned more than 300 calories in an hour of drumming. White’s bass playing and dancing given his slenderness likely resulted in excess of 250 calories burned per hour, and we know singers around Bailey’s size burn around 180 calories per hour if their standing while singing. So the three remaining original members of Earth, Wind & Fire likely burned 730 calories in an hour.
Add the horn section with saxophonist, Gary Bias (217 calories per hour), trumpet player, Bobby Burns Jr. (273), and trombone player, Reggie Young (180), and total caloric exertion comes to 1,400. Two guitarists (217 calories burned per hour each) brings the total to 1,834 calories burned per hour, and background vocalists Philip Bailey Jr. and B. David Whitworth push the caloric exertion total to 2,134. Myron McKinley on keyboards (181) pushes Earth, Wind & Fire’s collective caloric exertion to 2,315 calories per hour. In the hour-and-a-half-long set at the Minnesota State Fair, the band probably burned close to 3,500 calories.
In comparison, if Jordan, Pippen, and Rodman played 40 minutes at their listed weights on Basketball Reference (1,523 calories burned), Toni Kukoc, Luc Longley, and Ron Harper played 30 minutes at their listed weights (1,200 calories burned), that would leave Steve Kerr 20 minutes (220) and Randy Brown 10 minutes of playing time (118). The 1997-98 Chicago Bulls would collectively burn around 3,061 calories per 48 minutes on the floor, or a bit more than 3,800 calories per hour. The vast difference in mass between members of Earth, Wind & Fire and the Chicago Bulls (Longley was listed at 265 pounds) could account for much of the difference in calories burned per hour.
No one enjoyed sharing the puck more than The Great One, and no one enjoys sharing a party more than Andrew W.K. Party music is a broad genre and pretty much includes anything played with pace. And while Andrew W.K.’s success in his sport isn’t comparable to that of The Great One in his, there isn’t a single act out there that screams hockey like Andrew’s. Andrew W.K. shows are both pace-full and probably painful for Andrew, but he leaves it all on the stage (even blood sometimes) every night.
The first thing you’ll notice about Andrew W.K. when you see him live for the first time is his teeth. He has the biggest smile of anyone I’ve ever seen play music—so big, in fact, I thought he was high on cocaine. Now I know it’s the crowd that’s his addiction. I’ve never seen anyone happier doing their job than Andrew W.K., except maybe Wayne Gretzky after assisting a teammate on a goal. Gretzky loved assisting his teammates so much he has more assists than anyone else has points scored, and Andrew W.K. looks to simply assist the party-starting despite his early passion being fashion.
We know playing piano burns around 181 calories per hour depending on size, but no one plays piano like Andrew W.K. The only person who did hasn’t kicked the bench out from under himself for quite some time. In fact, it took Jerry Lee Lewis almost five minutes to change jackets onstage after his band played for 15 minutes awaiting his arrival, but he’s 82 years old!
Assuming Andrew burns just 200 calories an hour playing piano and another 180 calories singing given his size (he’s a big man and wrote about working out for Vice amongst other things), that’s 380 calories per hour burned on stage. But Andrew W.K. moves about the stage more and more violently than Mariah Carey or Philip Bailey, so this estimate is more than safe given his hour-long, Riot Fest set.
Time on ice statistics are only available going back to the 1998-99 season, during which Gretzky averaged about 21 minutes per game. But that was his final season, so using playoff numbers might be a better representation of actual calories burned per game in his prime. In the 1993 Conference Finals Game 7 he played close to 24 minutes, and in the 1984 Stanley Cup Final Game 5 he played 23. Livestrong estimates caloric exertion for a 190-pound hockey player to be 700 calories per hour.
So in 22 minutes, Gretzky would burn a little more than 250 calories, but Livestrong notes that the intensity of hockey as an activity allows for calories to be burned well after coming off the ice. Kind of like Mariah Carey’s stressful, high-heart-rate costume changes, hockey’s shift changes results in hockey players continuing to burn calories even while resting. One study found that 10 men who completed an intense, 45-minute workout on a stationary bike burned an additional 190 calories in the 14 hours following the workout. So Gretzky and his linemates burning an additional 80 calories between shifts is reasonable, making The Great One’s total exertion 330 calories per game.
So I think I’ve at least proven that musicians (and singers are musicians because our voices are instruments) burn comparable calories performing on stage as athletes do playing sports, fulfilling the energy exertion requirement of athletes. Whether a musician’s talent and amount of practice required to perfect and preserve that talent is on the same level as professional athletes require more in-depth, accurate research. But if you aren’t considering the performance of your favorite band as an athletic endeavor, you might consider considering it.
The greatest rock band of all time last toured in 1994 with three original members and eight supporting members. That's enough people to match the caloric exertion of the best Boston Celtics teams. Although Pink Floyd was without their Bill Russell (Roger Waters), they still had a Bob Cousy (David Gilmour), a Tom Heinsohn (Nick Mason), and a Bill Sharman (Richard Wright). Waters returned for a reunion performance in 2005.
Regardless of the lack of competition Pussy Riot has in its genre, they've dominated that genre for about as long as the Canadiens did the National Hockey League from 1952 to 1960, winning the Stanley Cup six times and finishing runners-up twice more. Pussy Riot's 11 members probably do enough dancing on stage to match the caloric exertion of the Canadiens of the '50s, too.
I know Run the Jewels consists of two people—El P and Killer Mike—but it takes at least two people to match what LeBron does on and off the court. Run the Jewels is not only as successful at selling records as LeBron is tickets, but all three of the group's records are critically acclaimed, like LeBron's off-court efforts.
Ask any punk rock record store clerk to tell you what album they believe to be the most underappreciated in punk, and none will give you a straight answer. “All of them,” someone said in the back of Extreme Noise in Minneapolis, getting laughs from his fellow clerks.
True, the genre probably gets as little attention as any from radio stations. Since most punk bands are trying desperately to be anything but pop (even country, rockabilly, stoner rock, funk, metal and, sometimes, ska), punk’s relative unpopularity makes some sense. Try as bands might, certain punk can become popular, and it’s a wonder why more hasn’t.
Some will misconstrue this as a list of pop punk albums that weren’t quite pop enough to be popular, but that’s not its intent. The bands on this list were never pop enough to be the next Green Day or Blink-182 or they would have been the next Green Day or Blink-182. Blink-182’s most popular albums are decidedly pop punk. Both Enema of the State and Take Off Your Pants and Jacket sound like what anyone would imagine pop punk would sound like. Both sold more than 14 million copies, but Dude Ranch, a decidedly un-pop album, sold just a million.
So staying punk and going platinum is a goal to which punk bands can aspire, and how the following records missed hitting big, we can only speculate. So here are some of the most underappreciated albums from the most underappreciated genre.
Big Boys’ Lullabies Help the Brain Grow was recommended by Extreme Noise clerk Abraham in Minneapolis, who is incredibly helpful and knowledgable. But it was the second album of the double-disc set that best fits the underappreciated album moniker because of how radio-friendly it is. There isn’t any language unfriendly to radio and two songs on each side of the record had the legs to be hits had they gotten any radio play whatsoever.
For some reason, Red Hot Chili Peppers got the radio play their biggest influence didn’t. RHCP used to open for Big Boys and were known to some as the Little Big Boys due to their similar sound. They released their debut in 1984 and sold about 300,000 records while the Big Boys were riding off into the sunset as a pioneer in hardcore punk rock. RHCP just missed the Billboard Top 200 that year, while Big Boys never came close. But Big Boys’ No Matter How Long the Line… was better than RHCP’s debut then and now.
After opening the record with perfect representations of their hardcore punk sound in “No” and “Narrow View,” Big Boys’ start experimenting, blending genres.
“I Do Care” is more funk than punk, featuring a bass line that’ll make you move and think RHCP’s Flea wasn’t all that innovative. Big Boys come back with a classic punk track with “Listen” before getting funky again with “What’s the Word,” which should have been all over the radio in 1984. It’s the perfect summer party song that put Randy “Biscuit” Turner’s vocals on display, which are Steven Tyler-like in their sexy raspiness.
On Side B, Big Boys provide a hip-hop interlude with “Common Beat” before returning to the hardcore punk for which they’re known with “No Love.” They follow it with what should have been a third hit on the record -- “Which Way To Go” -- and provide another funky, punk interlude called “Killing Time” before closing with a fourth radio-ready hit with which everyone can relate.
“Work” is the perfect workers’ rebellion song about workers who can’t afford to rebel after recovering from the Reagan Recession. “I work and slave for my pay / Do things I hate for a living / I want my freedom before it’s too late / Economic circumstances cause misgivings.”
The economic circumstances of the music business in 1984 certainly contributed to Big Boys’ misgivings. It turned out 1984 was a really tough year to be anyone but Michael Jackson or Prince, who owned the top album spot for a combined 37 weeks. The other 30 percent of the year was divided amongst just three other albums, one of which was Huey Lewis and the News’ Sports, which was number one for a week. Most everyone was listening to the same stuff in 1984, and it wasn’t punk.
This is an easy one. The departure of Descendents lead singer Milo Auckerman to pursue a graduate degree in biochemistry put All behind the eight ball from the start. And despite a fantastic replacement in the form of Dag Nasty’s Dave Smalley, Allroy Sez, nor any All record, could overcome the absence of Auckerman when it came to record sales and popularity. His return to the band in 1996 lifted the Descendents into the Billboard Top 200 -- and as high as twentieth with their latest record, Hypercaffium Spazzinate (2016).
Allroy Sez might not be a Descendents’ record, but it deserves more listens and buys than it gets. Three of the 12 tracks appear on All’s greatest hits compilation. The opener, “Pretty Little Girl” is like a 1950s pop, love song played on fast forward, and the fantastically funky baseline of “Hooidge” follows.
“Sex in the Way” has a chorus that should have been blasted from radio stations and bellowed by teens everywhere in 1988. “With sex in the way, I can’t see a thing” speaks to anyone who’s not a virgin, but reserved radio DJs of 1988 must have had a problem with the word “sex” or something.
The fun “Alfredo’s” contains some explicit language, so while it might not be radio-friendly, any All fan would likely tell you it’s one of their favorites. “Just Perfect” is just that -- another 1950s pop, love song played a bit faster and harder than The Monkees were willing to play. The same goes for the impressively fast bass line of “Paper Tiger.”
“#10 (Wet)” is another radio-ready song that got no love from radio, and after the metal-like “A Muse,” All closes the record with yet another hit that never was with “Don Quixote.” All in all, All’s debut is a solid album, beginning to end, that was never fully appreciated. Worse yet, it wasn’t appreciated at a time when Bon Jovi, U2 and Def Leppard albums (not even their best albums) were topping the charts. Guns ’n Roses’ Appetite for Destruction was the top album of 1988 for four weeks, and George Michael’s Faith was the top overall seller for 12 weeks.
The Suicide Machines obviously didn’t care if they ever heard themselves on the radio, or they might have reconsidered their name. But the band is responsible for some of the best “skacore” albums of the late ’90s. Because The Suicide Machines’ debut, Destruction by Definition, is more ska-infused than their more hardcore followup album, Battle Hymns, it makes this list because it might have fared better on the radio, despite the lyrics being a bit more explicit.
The first three songs of Destruction by Definition all had the legs to be radio hits. “New Girl,” “S.O.S.” and “Break the Glass” are all fantastic party songs with pace and radio-friendly lyrics. “S.O.S.” says a lot about humanity people might not like to hear, but paired with the reggae-like rhythm, it delivers the band’s somber message in a most effective manner. That message is more true today. “Man's inhumanity towards another man / It's man's insanity and ignorance again / And now the time had come to stop what's going on / The hatred's building up, exploding like a bomb / It's a bomb with a short fuse / And I know it seems like no use / The tension's building a reaction / This is a call to action / S.O.S. we need help.”
“No Face” continues the fun with a fantastic keyboard riff that you’ll find yourself whistling for days. The Suicide Machines go a bit more hardcore with the intro to “Hey,” but the menacing horns quickly go ska, making for another song perfect for parties but with one f-word that would keep it off the radio.
The pace picks up immensely with “Our Time,” “Too Much” and “Islands,” tracks that display the hardcore punk sound more utilized on Battle Hymns. “Real You” might have been a hit had it not been for the final verse before the chorus, which is basically just screamed obscenities. The same could be said for “Face Values” had the song been longer than 1:22. Besides one f-word, “Punk Out” doesn’t have either of those issues, and an edited version of the song probably should have gotten more radio play than it did. “And God only knows what'll keep us from dying / Because every time I look around I see life as a big lie / Yeah, everybody's saying ‘Yeah, I'm the one,’ yeah / ‘Everybody come running to me’ / But that's not how it works and it never did.”
The Suicide Machines follow “Punk Out” with a hardcore song about shoes, “Vans Song,” but with “fag” being the seventh word of the song, it’s understandable why it wasn’t all over the radio. “Who the hell would write a song about shoes?” lead singer Jason Navarro asks at the end of the track. Answer: only a punk band. Hell, The Dickies wrote a song about Pep Boys, so what’s wrong with writing about shoes?
“Insecurities” keeps the pace coming, and despite the song’s lack of lyrics, it sounds like a hit. Nothing holds back “Inside/Outside,” though. It’s one of the best songs on the record, and too good for one s-word to keep it off the radio. “If you wanna know the answers, then you've gotta ask the questions / ‘Who am I?’ and ‘who is she?’ / And ‘does it matter anyway?’ / You've got to look for love on the inside man / Don't look for love on the outside / Doesn't matter what the others say, 'cause all that shit gets in the way.”
The record closes with pace. “Zero” and, eventually, “So Long” get the toes tapping. “So Long” has all the elements that make a hit, with relatable lyrics and a catchy hook: “You know you make me want to say so long / You know you make me wanna say goodbye....(goodbye).” A hidden cover of Minor Threat’s “I Don’t Want to Hear It” closes the album just perfectly.
All but one song on Keep Your Heart received five stars on iTunes from my 22-year-old self. After seeing Dave Hause as part of the Revival Tour, I became addicted to the record for a little over a month.
The record opens with “Suture Self,” a pure punk track fueled by pace, thick electric guitar riffs and the lovely voice of Hause. Following that might be The Loved Ones’ most recognizable guitar riff from, “Breathe In,” and then quite possibly the band’s best song, “Jane.” “Jane” has the anthem-like chorus and pace fit for a hit, making for a great song to see live in concert -- whether it’s played acoustically or electrically. It gets the crowd hopping.
“Over 50 Club” was the only song that didn’t receive five stars on iTunes from my 22-year-old self, but “Please Be Here” continues the near-perfect production of Keep Your Heart. “Hurry Up and Wait” should appeal to just about anyone: “Hurry up, get in here now, oh no, you'll have to wait / Did you sanitize your hands? Oh that's the part I hate / To be told it's so helpless / If we get out of here in time / Maybe we'll pinch ourselves / And this nightmare could just work out fine.”
The Loved Ones prove you don’t need pace to make great punk songs with “Sickening,” another one that’s great live and acoustic. I would consider “Living Will Get You Dead” the fourth hit on the record along with the first three tracks. The chorus is hard to forget: “If that's how it's gonna be / Wake me up wake me up / Pump me full of meds / Don't let me drink from that cup / Slide a little pill down my throat / I'll try to keep it down / Or pull my plug and don't be frightened by the sound.”
Hause’s songwriting ability shines through again on “The Odds,” and the pace of “Benson and Hedges” gets the toes tapping and head banging -- a song Hause did with his previous band, The Curse. “Arsenic” continues to deliver pace and the auditory pleasantries of deep riffs and Hause’s voice. “100K” is another hit that wasn’t for whatever reason, despite it being released on an EP prior to being included on the album. “Player Hater Anthem” aptly closes out the record, another hit in my opinion, which brings the total to six or seven. I’ve lost count.
The Loved Ones released just one more record in 2008, produced by members of The Bouncing Souls. They never officially disbanded, but didn’t get the recognition they deserved then or now. Why? Well, RHCP finally had an album reach number one in 2006 with Stadium Arcadium, but rap ruled the charts just over a decade ago, with T.I., Busta Rhymes, Jay-Z, Rick Ross, The Game and Young Jeezy all reaching number one on the Billboard album chart.
The Flatliners’ third album was the Toronto band’s second attempt at a more intense punk rock sound as opposed to the ska sound that frequented the songs of the band’s youth. It was mostly well-received and ranked as the fourth-best punk album of 2010 by Exclaim! and considered another step in the right direction for the band.
The PunkNews.org staff review says the second half the of the record “drops off,” but I disagree vehemently. Maybe because I like a little pop punk mixed in with my punk rock, but regardless of my biases, nothing about the pace and intensity drops off. “Monumental” monumentally kicks off side B, which just continues with pure hardness all the way through, peaking with “Sleep Your Life Away” and providing a pop interlude with “Count Your Bruises,” a song appropriately used to close shows, before taking a turn back to speed and anger with “New Years Resolutions,” which has it’s own pleasant interlude and crescendo to end the record.
Why Chris Cresswell’s voice isn’t all over the radio should be a surprise to anyone who’s heard him -- especially with the even more radio-ready Inviting Light now out. On the bright side, it’s why I got to see him and The Flatliners at The Triple Rock in Minneapolis instead of at a bigger venue for three times as much.
But why didn’t Cavalcade provide The Flatliners a path to superstardom? Well it was 2010, which meant it was 2008 on rock radio. Shinedown’s The Sound of Madness, released June 2008, had two songs in the Billboard top fifteen in 2010, and 2010’s top song was also from 2008. Rise Against’s “Savior” was still ruling the radio, and people were just getting to know London’s Mumford & Sons -- a British invasion of sorts.
Sandwiched between all of that and a Foo Fighters record responsible for two of the top three songs of 2011 made for a short shelf-life for Cavalcade.
So given my research and the assistance of Extreme Noise Records, those are the five most underappreciated albums in punk rock. Your list is probably different than mine, but I’d venture to bet at least one or two of mine are also on yours.
It’s hard to take a day off when your job consists of writing about exactly what you want to write about whenever that inspiration strikes. I’m usually inspired to write something daily, but sometimes a vacation can go a long way in refreshing your thoughts and disconnecting your brain from all things work. That’s why I went vinyl record shopping on Sunday.
Vinyl’s comeback is no secret. I’m 31, and while my parents had a record player and used it often when I was a kid, I didn’t get into records until more recently when I started listening to them with friends. It became a kind of ritual. After our days listening to radio at work, whether traditional or online, and mp3s from our phones during our commute, we needed some art we could touch -- something tangible.
The quality of a vinyl recording is far superior to that of an mp3 or CD, too. I don’t care what anyone says. You can’t have better quality if you don’t capture everything in the first place. A digital recording does not capture the complete sound wave, while an analog recording does. That’s why Robert Plant’s voice sounds so much better on vinyl, because nothing is lost.
What I love most about the vinyl comeback, though, is the act of purchasing music. I went out looking for a few specific things on Sunday. After hearing The Blues Brothers’ “Briefcase Full of Blues,” I wanted to focus on buying records that featured horns, so basically anything by Chicago or my favorite band in middle school, Huey Lewis and the News. I know, I’m a throwback, but Back to the Future was one of my favorite movies as a kid, and I’ve always been a sucker for horns.
Did I find what I sought? Not really. Did I care? No. And I still ended up buying four records on Sunday.
Starting at Know Name Records in Bloomington, I discovered a bunch of records I’ll eventually buy, but the one I decided I had to have that very moment was Buddy Holly’s “Gold.” The sleeve was in terrible shape, but the vinyl looked great, so for $8 I took it home. I figured it would be one I’d never sell anyways, so what do I care what the sleeve looks like. If it plays it’s worth eight bucks. What motivated the purchase? I had just seen a Buddy Holly impersonator in Las Vegas with my dad and realized how great that man was despite not giving him a lot of play throughout my life. Now I can replay that show in my living room whenever I want.
Since I didn’t find what I sought, I went to Roadrunner Records in Minneapolis, where I immediately found the soundtrack to The Blues Brothers movie for another $8. No Huey Lewis and the News in the building, but at least I found some horns.
I walked into Extreme Noise in Minneapolis without knowing what to expect. The staff was incredibly helpful right from the start, so instead of walking in and looking around, I was immediately asked if there was something specific I was seeking.
“Yeah. Huey Lewis and the News’s ‘Sports,’” I said. The staff member smiled.
“Yeah, I don’t think we’ll have that one. Maybe Roadrunner Records would. You should probably be able to find it for two bucks anywhere.”
“I just came from there. What do you guys specialize in?”
“We have punk and metal mostly. We probably have who you’ve got on your shirt.” I was wearing The Menzingers’ concert t-shirt I bought when I saw them in Seattle. More importantly, though, I had stumbled upon music-buying bliss. I could spend an entire day in this store and not find everything I want to buy. In fact, everyone in the store, even shoppers, helped search for the sleeve for The Screeching Weasel’s new album “How to Make Enemies and Irritate People.” It was a fantastic shopping experience.
I also took home the album that probably made me a punk the moment I heard it -- Dead Boys’ “Young Loud and Snotty.” I might never listen to it in any other format again because the record sounds absolutely fantastic. It’s as close to seeing a Dead Boys’ show as I’ll ever get. Upon hearing the first side of the record, I posted this on Facebook with a picture of the record: "Strangely, the best I've felt listening to music."
It was one of the most pleasurable Sundays I’ve had in some time, and the Minnesota Twins lost that day. It will probably become a bi-weekly adventure. I’ll get my paycheck and head down to the record stores, grabbing long lost classics and new punk records that will gain value over time. Because what’s the point in buying art if it’s not worth anything more than a listen once in awhile?
Editor’s Note: I will publish a review of some of the most underappreciated records of all time as a follow-up to this piece.