Valentine’s Day is one of the biggest holidays of the year, with consumers spending more than $20 billion a year buying cards, chocolates, flowers, and teddy bears.  But what no one admits to is it is one of the most anxiety producing and miserable holidays of the year.

If you’re single…

When you’re single the last thing you need to be reminded of is just that….you’re single.  Valentine’s Day inundates us with the “normalcy” of being in a relationship such that anyone who’s single feels there’s something wrong with them. Single people feel forced to shut off the TV, avoid shopping, avoid others and remain indoors for the week surrounding Feb. 14th.

If you’re married….

If you’re married, and have been so for some time, Valentine’s Day reminds you of how much you are lacking in sex and romance.  But worse yet, you are now compelled to do something for Valentine’s Day.  No credit for spontaneity.  No credit for being romantic, since the whole world seems to be celebrating Valentines.  And… it’s all pain, no gain.  If you mess up, and your gift or celebration is not very romantic, you’re in the dog house.  And if you forget about the holiday all together…Whoa Nelly…..

The candy….

When one thinks of candy they think of chocolate, lollipops, vibrant colors…..Valentine’s heart candy is the worst candy out there.  They’re pale, hard, practically crack your teeth, not very tasty and force you to read them before you eat.

Be Mine?  Be my Valentine?

Don’t give me anymore work to do. You could be pretty high maintenance.  And what if I’m not ready to commit?

Your gift better measure up….

Valentine’s Day gifts are made to be publicized.  And even if you gave your sweetheart the gift in private, it will be posted on social media or broadcast at work the next day.  In fact, not sending the gift to their work could be a major faux pas.

So how do we make this holiday more tolerable?

If you’re single…

If you’re single, use this holiday to celebrate the friendships you have.  Make it a singles night out and celebrate your freedom.  Or make a friend feel special by sending a “friend” valentine.  These could include:

• a bottle of wine
• a stuffed toy (with no heart attached)
• a book
• a gift certificate
• a funny poem/desk calendar

If you’re married…

Since the gift of spontaneity has already been hijacked by this holiday, do something creative and unpredictable.  Candlelight dinner, a poem, luxury bath, weekend trip, something sappy…..but do it right and you’ll get bonus points.

Don’t spend a lot

Here’s the silver lining. Most Valentine’s Day gifts/gestures do not have to cost a lot.  Valentine’s Day is about the heart and showing one how much you care.  So a note, poem, song, personalized song list, or even a cute little doodle can go along way.

ARTERIES ARE RED

VENULES ARE BLUE

MY GONORRHEA HAS CLEARED UP

HOW ABOUT YOU?

What to buy a man?

We make the mistake of thinking men want what we want. Let’s take cologne for that matter….men don’t want to smell like perfume or “parfume”y….they like smelling like men.  Forcing them to use toilet water is not cool.

Another common gift given to men is a shaving set.  Does the average man like shaving, let alone every day? Top that off with wasting an opportunity for them to get a cool gift with one that includes shaving products???  Cruel, just cruel.

For men, many prefer steak for dinner, time alone in their man cave, or sex.  I think that’s about it.  Pretty easy.

So hope this helps you get through Valentine’s Day anxiety free and worry free.

And remember…. its only one day…just one day…. and will all be over Feb. 15th.

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Daliah Wachs is a guest contributor to GCN news, her views and opinions, medical or otherwise, if expressed, are her own. Doctor Wachs is an MD,  FAAFP and a Board Certified Family Physician.  The Dr. Daliah Show , is nationally syndicated M-F from 11:00 am - 2:00 pm and Saturday from Noon-1:00 pm (all central times) at GCN.