Jeff Stevens
GCN Live.com
A lot of men are taking relationships that otherwise should be good and turning them bad with their insecurities.
Am I speaking to you?
You know she does not react well to this behavior but it is hard to break the pattern, am I right?
I bet she has even cautioned you a number of times that she is getting sick and tired of it. At some point it she just won’t care because you’ll be OUT.
Do you want to lose your relationship because of insecurities?
Of course not! You are reading this because you want assistance.
Here are 3 strategies so help you overcome insecurities in relationships.
ONE: She is with you, right? CHILL!!
It is amazing to me that so many guys date her, get her to fall in love and then seem to not believe that she really is in love with them. It reminds me of the 1954 Frank Sinatra movie called “Young At Heart.”
Doris Day’s character falls for the guy played by Frank Sinatra but he cannot believe it. His self-esteem is so tramped on that he just does not believe that she could love him.
Is that you? If you selected a good girl with a kind heart, integrity and she is clinically sane, then what are you worried about?
If she is in love with you, just go with it. I know the little devil guy on your shoulder is telling you that she would rather be with 10,000,000 other guys besides you.
Stinking thinking, stop it!
You are actually insulting her because essentially you are calling her an idiot for being in love with you since there are so many other good choices besides you (at least in your own twisted thoughts).
TWO: The dude you throw bread to in the pond is smarter than you think
That is the catch-22 of falling in love. You give yourself over to the other person and then you are depending on the decisions of someone else for your happiness.
Welcome to relationships.
You need to be like the duck. The duck paddles like mad underneath the water to get to the bread and to propel himself along but has learned to look cool to the outside world and you need to do that with her.
You might want to tell her your deepest fears over losing her but what good will that do? You might want to question her every move for all the imaginary guys that you think she is with but what good will that do? You might want to ask her every waking minute how she feels about your relationship but what good will that do?
I think you can figure out that none of it will do any good. In fact, the above will do a lot of harm.
If it does not raise her interest level in you, then shut your mouth. You might feel temporarily better by accusing her of a million imagined crimes and she might back down and let you have your insane insecure way with her, but ultimately you are just wrecking a good thing.
THREE: Stop being so focused on the man in the mirror
When you pull an insecure move (or moves) on her, you are not taking her feelings into consideration.
That is right, you are making it all about YOU and what your needs are when you do this.
How attractive is that in the long run? She is in the relationship with you because she wants something out of it too.
When you cry and moan like a little kid and question her every move or motive then you are making the relationship all about you instead of the two of you.
Learn to get outside of yourself and consider what SHE wants.
Remember guys, if you want to lose a good girl then keep showing her your insecurities over and over again.
Jeff Stevens is the co-host of The Doc Love Show, which airs on GCN Saturdays 9:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. Central Time. Listen to the show On Demand. For more information on Doc Love and his relationship services, visit DocLove.com
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Scott Hennen is the host of the Common Sense Club, which airs on GCN Monday-Friday at 11:00a-2:00p Central Time. Listen to the show On Demand.
